Decisions, Decisions.

I am a mother of three beautiful little girls. And ever since the birth of my second daughter I have been staying home taking care of them, but I have ALWAYS wanted to find a way to contribute to the family finances. I tried everything you can think of . . . scrapbooking, make-up sales, party planning, and the list goes on and on . . . When my 2nd little princess was 1 week old we had a friend come over and take some pictures of the family and our newbie. She did a great job and these are pictures we will forever treasure and I still have the family one hanging on my wall ( I know I need a new one especially since I am a photographer and there is ANOTHER CHILD involved, I just don't like getting my picture taken.) But I remember getting these pictures and seeing how happy they made me and seeing how well the girl was doing and I thought HEY maybe I could do that. I had always liked to draw and have taken art classes all my life. I never got raves reviews from my teachers because all I ever drew were portraits of people (seems kinda funny now). So a dear friend of mine (a wife of a guy my hubby works with) helped me talk my husband into spending our tax return on a camera (not the nicest one out there mind you, we don't have THAT many deductibles.)

But before I bought the camera I remember praying and praying about it and whether it was the right thing to do. All my other hair-brained ideas didn't have that much money to shell out at the beginning, so this was a sacrifice for us. Was it the right thing? Now I remember taking my scriptures with me down to the bus stop as I took my oldest to school one day and reading while we waited in the snow.

I have always heard about people who just open the scriptures and read a verse and get an answer to the question . . . so I decided to test this theory. I plopped them open and read the first verse that came to my eye. I don't remember the verse or where it was located (I wish I would have marked it) but it said, "Seek God, before you seek riches." This was an answer to my prayer. I had been using God as the backburner for my quest for riches, when in fact I needed to seek God first and the riches would follow (if they were to be).

So after more prayers and quiet whisperings from the Holy Ghost (and direction from my patriarchal blessing) my husband bought me the camera and the rest is history. It didn't boom quick but three years later I am able to provide some supplimentary income for my family's needs. My photography has been a gift and continues to be a gift from my Heavenly Father so I am always trying to find ways to give back, ways to use my gift to further his work here on earth.

Another prayer answered (a little comedic).

I was thinking I wanted to move (I know crazy right, we live in such a beautiful place) but my kids don't have a lot of people to play with and summer is hard! So I was visiting my sister in law and watched my kids play with like a trillion other kids and I was thinking that they were missing out. So I went home and told my hubby that I wanted to move down to her neighborhood. Now I always say my hubby has good guts, meaning when he has a gut feeling it's the way we should go, I do believe this has something to do with the priesthood he holds :) But we'll call it guts :) And he responded to me, "really because I don't feel that way, why don't you pray about it". Oh darn it, I wanted him to say "OK, my lovely wife whatever you say!"

So I prayed and decided to do the scripture magic again, I plopped open my scriptures (and this one I did mark) and it fell to Alma 46:24, which starts out, "Yea, let us preserve our liberty . . ." Now this may not seem like an answer to some, but think about this. I live in Liberty Utah! Now people can laugh (because that's just what I did when I read it) but the Lord can guide and direct us in our decisions if we will only listen.

A Challenge . . .

I was down at Temple Square yesterday photographing a wedding. The ceremony pictures were over and I had about an hour and a half until the reception (at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building) so I decided to wander through temple square and see what I could see. As I was wandering I had the opportunity to speak with a lovely sister missionary. At the end of our conversation she asked me if she could give me a challenge! I am up for a challenge from a missionary any day! She asked that I think hard about something I need an answer to, something I maybe haven't let go of, or that I am seeking. She asked that I write it down and listen to conference with that "question" in mind. She PROMISED me that if I did this, my question would be answered! What Faith she had. She said it without doubt or hesitation. So therefore, I am going to do the challenge and I am passing the challenge on to you.
1. Think deep about something you need an answer to or something you have been seeking forgiveness for that you haven't let go of.
2. Write this thing down (in a journal, on a piece of paper you can crumple up so no one can see, anywhere!).
3. Listen to General Conference on Oct. 4th and 5th. For Broadcast Information Click Here.
4. Have Faith and Know that you will find what you are seeking.

Every Part of your life!

Not too long ago I was trying to sell my car.  Not because I didn't like it . . . because I LOVED it.  But because my family has grown and for my own sanity the children need to be out of arms reach of one another.  So with much sadness I put my car on the "ever so popular" online selling site.  Now I had a cute, fun, fast car and this online source was my only method for selling it.  No number in the car window or sale sign.  So we waited . . .

It sat online for 30 days then 45 days and I was determined that the car wasn't going to sell and that it just wasn't meant to be.  I had this very thought as I was driving my three year old to the doctor when . . . she threw up all over the back seat.   The most HORRIBLE throw up ever!  So I pulled over and got her cleaned up (as much as you can in the back seat of a car), ran into Old Navy in her skibbies to get some new clothes to wear and as I get back in the car . . . I get a phone call saying they want to look at my car!  Of course, now that it's covered in throw up and I have an infant and sick toddler on my hands.

So we rush home and detail the car, top to bottom!  Thank heavens for hubbies.  And I am thinking how weird it is that just today I was thinking if it's meant to be it will happen if not, don't stress about it.  So my hubby takes the car to show the people and he comes home and says they want it!  And they are going to pick it up tomorrow.  

Well I haven't even been looking for a new car.  All I knew was that I wanted a mini-van (crazy I know, but it's pure heaven)  I was kind of picky about this as I felt that if I was going to be a mini-van driving mom it had to have all the bells and whistles I needed.  But it also had to be about the same price as my old car . . . challenging.  And not to throw in any more challenges, but we were supposed to head up to Bear Lake in two days, need a car for that!

So I ran to the same online source and started searching for my dream car (van).  It needed to be white, I wanted power sliding doors (how cool are those), I wanted a dvd player to keep the kids happy on those rides home from grandma and grandpa's and it had to have under 80k miles.  Now I worked at car dealerships for 7 years and one thing I did learn was that you can't custom order a used car.

So my hopes were high, but my expectations low.  I am looking and looking and praying and praying (yes I was praying about a car).  Then I found it, but it had been online for 50 days and was $3000 under book . . . it was either sold or something seriously wrong with it!  The listing wasn't the best, very vague, but even in the small print I could read dvd player and power sliding doors.  So I called and left a message.

I then rented a van so I had something to drive and with 24 hours until we were to head to Bear Lake I kept looking and praying that the right thing would turn up for us.  I finally got a phone call back from the man selling the van and they still had it and they lived within 15 minutes of us (which if you know where I live, this is a big deal).  So we ran to see it and it was PERFECT!  Everything I wanted and only $200 more than our old car!  The man said that he had it online for the 50 days and we are the first to call on it!  Sold, we'll take two!

Now I am not saying that this car is heaven sent, but what I am saying is that if you let the Lord be a part of EVERY aspect of your life . . . job, cars, school, even down to the smallest thing, He will be involved.  He will guide you and direct you.  He will ease your worries with the FAITH that he will find a way for things to work out.  

Just as I said in the post before this . . . we are given trials.   No doubt about it, but if we let the Lord be involved in everything he will guide us through it all . . . Big or Small!  Don't ever feel like something isn't important enough to pray for.  If it's important to you, it's important to Him.  

He trusts you . . .

This is an older testimoment for me, but I must share it. I love my children, but sometimes being a mother is less than glorious (don't act surprised)! I was going through a period where I was really struggling with my oldest and I really wanted the best for her but didn't know what that was or where to find it.

I went to a meeting (there's a common thing here, I really shouldn't miss these!) and there someone mentioned a talk given by a general authority (I don't know who it was) but he mentioned a joke. The joke told by the general authority was this, "for all you parents sitting there smug thinking how great your children are and how you did such a perfect job . . . just know he didn't trust you with a hard one." Everyone laughed . . . . I cried. Now I know it was a joke and I know that this may not truly be the case, but I felt Him.

I felt the confirmation that the reason I had this challenging child (or children) was because he KNEW I could handle it. Now it doesn't mean I think I am better than the parent with the easy kids, it just helped me to view my trials in a whole new light. We don't have to wait until our next estate (the after life) to hear the Lord say, "way to go, you're doing a good job". There are things that are constantly happening in our everyday, that are "way to go's" from the Lord. They can come in the form of a trial or a blessing. And many times, they are the same.

When the Lord sends you a hard kid, it's a way to go, you can do it, I KNOW you can. When the Lord sends us a challenging calling, it's a way to go. When the Lord sends us trials, we can view them as "why me" or we can view them as, "well, at least he trusts me." Now my mother and I have talked about this often and I agree with her that sometimes, I don't want to be so trusted . . . he he he.

But view it from a worldly point of view. If you are at your job and you are doing great. Your employer doesn't just keep giving you the stuff that's too easy for you, or all the stuff you already mastered. If you are doing a good job they are going to give you projects and challenges to push you further, projects with more responsibility. They trust you can do it. These are the things that help you get "promoted" or "move up the ladder of success".

So the next time you are feeling low and "picked on" (we all do) remember it's a WAY to GO! Consider it your promotion for a job well done.

Where I stand and Repentance isn't painful . . .

I have decided that I will create a blog to share my testimony building moments (I call them my testimoments).

But two weeks ago I had the opportunity to attend a stake priesthood leadership training meeting in which the YW presidencies were invited.  The stake president spoke with love and concern for the youth.  He spoke in a forward manner regarding the challenges and confusion out there facing our youth (and children).  

I determined that I need to decide WHERE I STAND!  I know that the gospel is full of guidelines and direction that only lead to happiness, but I don't know if I have ever sat down and said . . . I am LDS all the way, meaning I don't pick and choose the commandments I follow.  So to protect my children and to only make my life a happier one, I decided that for family home evening we were going to sit down and write down our Family Standards.  So my girls would know that our family standards ARE the church standards.  So we went through the things we are (or strive to be) - (I had a little help with this by using the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet - a must read and read and read . . . religious or not).  We listed things such as we are modest, we are honest, we repent . . . This not only reminds us everyday of the church standards that we live by, but it also holds us accountable, we can't say we are if we aren't.  So we can strive to be what we say we are.  

And on the note of repentance, I had an "Ah Ha" moment (as Oprah would call it).  A former mission president spoke on how MANY missionaries entered the mission field un-prepared, and not fully ready for they had not repented from all the things they should have addressed. And then he mentioned that they need to know that repentance isn't painful . . . now he went on to say some wonderful things, but this thought, stuck with me.  

For those of you who know me personally. . . I have taken some bumpy roads that have lead me to where I am today.  I have definitely taken advantage of the atonement.  But as I would stand talking to the youth or whomever, and when I had to speak on repentance I always made sure to tell them that it was hard.  (Because I have always heard that it was, that it's through this hard that we are forgiven).  So I made sure to tell them that repentance was worth it but it was hard.  But inside I thought . . . I NEVER felt like it was hard when I did it.  The burden or sin I carried was hard!  NOT the repentance, repentance sets you free of the "hard", now maybe admitting the sin or revealing it is hard, but repentance is WONDERFUL and not possible without the sacrifice Christ made for us! Repentance lifts that burden from your shoulders, just as Christ said, let me carry your load.  

I drove home from that meeting in tears, not because of the overwhelming load that was placed upon us in regards to chastity and morality, but because I realized I HAD REPENTED fully.  I have always thought . . . well I feel like I repented, I have the spirit, I feel forgiven, I have forgiven, but it wasn't hard . . . so did I not do it right?  I DID, I HAVE, AND I AM!  I gained a whole new testimony of the atonement that I have used over and over.  What a wonderful thing, that thru love, compassion, and JOY . . . I repented and was forgiven and returned to a full, GOSPEL FILLED life. 

I challenge EVERYONE to sit down and think where do WE stand as a family or as a person.  Regardless of religion, what do we want to stand for.  And display these things in your home, to remind you daily of those standards that we strive for.

I am TRULY grateful for the Savior, because he saved me!  He is not only the Savior of the scriptures, the Savior of the Church . . . he is the Savior of ME!  I know that while I have been saved once or twice, I will continue to be saved my whole life through until I return home with my eternal family (and probably even after that).

"If we could only understand All we have heard and seen, We'd know there is no greater gift than those two words - Washed Clean." Boyd K. Packer