It is through our every day life that we can find ways to build our testimonies. It doesn't have to be a big set up. I LOVE to seek these small experiences out. I love the day to day life that the Lord has given me and the small moments that impact my life.
Yesterday I was sick, not just feeling low, but sick, couldn't get out of bed. My oldest daughter came home from a Halloween party and immediately sprung to action and took care of me. She brought me an ice cold glass of water after I threw up saying, "I always like when you bring me a glass of water to get that taste out of my mouth."
She kept giving me "distant" hugs (no one wants this sick). And when it came time to tuck her in, we had to have our prayer at my bedside instead of hers. It was her turn to say the prayer and while she was praying she said, "we ask a special prayer tonight to bless that mom will get feeling better so she can have a fun Halloween."
How sweet of her to think of me and how much fun I want to have. So after sleeping most of the night I woke up this morning feeling a bit better (I could at least get out of bed). I went downstairs to wake her up for school (of course we have to get up extra early today to get her costume and Halloween make-up on). And the first thing she asks is, "How are you feeling?" I reply that I am feeling a lot better and she says, "See my prayer worked!"
There is a reason the Lord requires us to be like little children the faith and understanding that they have is so pure and real. This was a reminder to me that children can also have testimony building moments at a young age when they exercise their faith.
I am so grateful for the gift of His children in my home and will seek continually to provide for them.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
"I can't LIVE without you!"
When my husband and I first started dating I had turned my life over to the Lord, I literally stood on the back porch of my parents house and said, with my eyes facing the sun, "I can't do it, I can't do any of it, I need you to take over and guide me."
And I tell you what, he did. Ask and ye shall receive right!
So there were many parts of our relationship that weren't typical dating etiquette but they were just what both us needed to KNOW that this was the right choice. The eternal choice.
"I can't live without you!"
How romantic right? When someone tells you this you just melt with a big blushing AWWWHHHHHH! BUT . . . I tell you what, if this is a TRUE statement, not just a romantic blurb of words . . . beware. I have been there, where someone truly claims to not be able to live without you. While this may be fine and dandy as long as you want to be with them . . . but imagine this . . . you don't. Not because they aren't a good person, not because they aren't worth your love, but because the person you have become when you are with them is not the person the Lord wants you to be and in order to get back on track you must remove yourself from the entire lifestyle you have been living.
When I first meet my husband I had just come out of a long relationship in which my life and spirituality took backseat to the needs and wants of another person. Our relationship had become unhealthy for both of us and we both needed to move on and seek out happiness.
One of the best things my husband said to me while we were dating was this, "If we were to break up, I would be sad, but . . . I would be okay." Now, some of you may be thinking, WHAT! How romantic is that? BUT to me, it was JUST WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR! I had spent 6 years of my life with a person who HAD to be with me. Who's life may possibly come to an end if I left. This is no way to be in a relationship. So this concept that this man didn't HAVE to be with me, he WANTED to be with me. His life was just fine without me, but he felt it was better with me. He individually was a stable person who knew that his happiness did not depend on another human being. I was thrilled!
I don't know why he said this, but I do . . . I know that the Lord knew I needed to know that my life didn't have to take a backseat to this man's, we could walk together.
There's a beautiful picture of two swans flying and it's titled "freely committed" (I NEED to find this picture) but it shows how they mate for life and when one is tired the other one flies in front to take the wind, and they switch back and forth, but while they may be able to take flight and leave the other swan they CHOOSE to be freely committed to one another and fly together. I love this, they are not chained together, one is not dragging the other one, they are FREELY COMMITTED. I love it.
I do have to say that now that I have been married to my eternal companion for 6 years, I do REALLY like having him around and understand that we do become ONE when we are married, but the strength and happiness that we have comes from within ourselves and through the Lord and is NOT solely dependent on the actions of another person.
I am FREELY COMMITTED, now that's romantic!
And I tell you what, he did. Ask and ye shall receive right!
So there were many parts of our relationship that weren't typical dating etiquette but they were just what both us needed to KNOW that this was the right choice. The eternal choice.
"I can't live without you!"
How romantic right? When someone tells you this you just melt with a big blushing AWWWHHHHHH! BUT . . . I tell you what, if this is a TRUE statement, not just a romantic blurb of words . . . beware. I have been there, where someone truly claims to not be able to live without you. While this may be fine and dandy as long as you want to be with them . . . but imagine this . . . you don't. Not because they aren't a good person, not because they aren't worth your love, but because the person you have become when you are with them is not the person the Lord wants you to be and in order to get back on track you must remove yourself from the entire lifestyle you have been living.
When I first meet my husband I had just come out of a long relationship in which my life and spirituality took backseat to the needs and wants of another person. Our relationship had become unhealthy for both of us and we both needed to move on and seek out happiness.
One of the best things my husband said to me while we were dating was this, "If we were to break up, I would be sad, but . . . I would be okay." Now, some of you may be thinking, WHAT! How romantic is that? BUT to me, it was JUST WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR! I had spent 6 years of my life with a person who HAD to be with me. Who's life may possibly come to an end if I left. This is no way to be in a relationship. So this concept that this man didn't HAVE to be with me, he WANTED to be with me. His life was just fine without me, but he felt it was better with me. He individually was a stable person who knew that his happiness did not depend on another human being. I was thrilled!
I don't know why he said this, but I do . . . I know that the Lord knew I needed to know that my life didn't have to take a backseat to this man's, we could walk together.
There's a beautiful picture of two swans flying and it's titled "freely committed" (I NEED to find this picture) but it shows how they mate for life and when one is tired the other one flies in front to take the wind, and they switch back and forth, but while they may be able to take flight and leave the other swan they CHOOSE to be freely committed to one another and fly together. I love this, they are not chained together, one is not dragging the other one, they are FREELY COMMITTED. I love it.
I do have to say that now that I have been married to my eternal companion for 6 years, I do REALLY like having him around and understand that we do become ONE when we are married, but the strength and happiness that we have comes from within ourselves and through the Lord and is NOT solely dependent on the actions of another person.
I am FREELY COMMITTED, now that's romantic!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
To The Bottom and Back . . .
When I was making the climb back out of my "hole" of sin and sorrow, I wrote a poem trying to explain what it felt like. I titled it "To the Bottom and Back"
Do you know what it's like at the bottom of the sea?
It's dark and dreary and you can barely see.
The water's so cold and it eats at your skin.
You can hardly breath and your oxygen's thin.
The pressure upon you is like nothing you've known.
Even if you're with others, you feel all alone.
There's beautiful wonders swimming right beside you
but you can not see them, no matter what you do.
You sink to the bottom and can't see the sun.
You look at the sand and think . . . what have I done.
You wonder if ever you'll see the light of day,
but never start swimming, you just sit there and sway.
You hope that a fisherman, out on a boat
will notice you down there and keep you afloat.
But no one can see you, they don't know you are there.
So you have to start swimming, or you'll run out of air.
So suddenly you decide to do something brave
and swim for your life out of this watery grave.
Your feet are so heavy and your heart feels the same.
You feel like you are drowning in a sea full of shame.
But you know you must go or you'll never be free.
So you take that first step back to the edge of the sea.
You swim with your arms, your legs and your heart.
You know it's a long trip, but you need somewhere to start.
The pressure starts to lessen and the water's not so cold
then you embrace the sunlight, shinning yellow and gold.
You start to swim faster and suddenly you find
that your strong tribulations weren't one of a kind.
You find that your feet are as light as a feather
and that you breath the sunlight that you will forever treasure.
You burst through the waves, so cold and so blue
to find family and friends waiting to help you.
They rescue your body, your mind and your soul.
You did it! You made it! What a glorious goal.
They were there with their eyes full of gratuitous tears
then you found that they shared your trials and fears.
The Lord is our sun, so bright and so true
so always remember no matter what you do
That the sea may look tempting on his sunny days
but when you hit bottom, all that's left is the haze
and wishing for sunlight and the cold emptiness
so remember . . . KEEP SWIMMING . . . and he'll do the rest.
So take it from me, for to the bottom I have been
that Jesus the Christ, is a fisher of men.
Ann Montgomery
Do you know what it's like at the bottom of the sea?
It's dark and dreary and you can barely see.
The water's so cold and it eats at your skin.
You can hardly breath and your oxygen's thin.
The pressure upon you is like nothing you've known.
Even if you're with others, you feel all alone.
There's beautiful wonders swimming right beside you
but you can not see them, no matter what you do.
You sink to the bottom and can't see the sun.
You look at the sand and think . . . what have I done.
You wonder if ever you'll see the light of day,
but never start swimming, you just sit there and sway.
You hope that a fisherman, out on a boat
will notice you down there and keep you afloat.
But no one can see you, they don't know you are there.
So you have to start swimming, or you'll run out of air.
So suddenly you decide to do something brave
and swim for your life out of this watery grave.
Your feet are so heavy and your heart feels the same.
You feel like you are drowning in a sea full of shame.
But you know you must go or you'll never be free.
So you take that first step back to the edge of the sea.
You swim with your arms, your legs and your heart.
You know it's a long trip, but you need somewhere to start.
The pressure starts to lessen and the water's not so cold
then you embrace the sunlight, shinning yellow and gold.
You start to swim faster and suddenly you find
that your strong tribulations weren't one of a kind.
You find that your feet are as light as a feather
and that you breath the sunlight that you will forever treasure.
You burst through the waves, so cold and so blue
to find family and friends waiting to help you.
They rescue your body, your mind and your soul.
You did it! You made it! What a glorious goal.
They were there with their eyes full of gratuitous tears
then you found that they shared your trials and fears.
The Lord is our sun, so bright and so true
so always remember no matter what you do
That the sea may look tempting on his sunny days
but when you hit bottom, all that's left is the haze
and wishing for sunlight and the cold emptiness
so remember . . . KEEP SWIMMING . . . and he'll do the rest.
So take it from me, for to the bottom I have been
that Jesus the Christ, is a fisher of men.
Ann Montgomery
Monday, October 6, 2008
The Hole . . .
To explain to you about how one can have good intentions in helping someone, yet find themselves in just as much trouble. I like to explain my experience as 'THE HOLE'.
Imagine you are walking along one day and you hear someone calling for help. You follow their voice until you come upon a hole. There they are sitting in this deep, dark hole. You see that it is someone you care about dearly. You ask if they are ok, they say they are fine but they can't get out. So you look at the side of the hole and see there are divets and cranny's that they could use to climb out. You start to point them out to them but they say they can't do that, they aren't strong enough.
So you decide to go and get a rope. You find a rope, tie it to a tree, and throw the other end down to the person in the hole. You encourage them to climb out, but they don't think they can do it and don't even try, they say they aren't strong enough.
Now you are really concerned about them and how they will get out of this dark, dirty hole. So you go and find a ladder. You put the ladder down the hole and tell them to climb out. They just sit. They don't think they can do it. You try and coax them out of the hole by telling them how warm and sunny it is outside of the hole, but they don't budge, they sit in their hole and won't come out.
Because this is someone you love and you want to help them YOU decide to go down in the hole and get them out. So you slowly climb down each step until YOU reach the bottom of the hole, it's dark, cold, dirty and you can't even see the sun anymore from the top of the hole.
You grab their hand and say, "let's get out of here". You give their arm a tug and they don't budge. They say they can't do it. You are going to have to CARRY THEM! You try with all your might, but you are not strong enough to carry both of you up and out of the hole.
So you sit.
You sit in the hole with this person and while they are there with you, you feel all alone, cold and dirty. So you decide (after a long while of sitting and getting dirty) that you are going to get out of the hole and in order to do this you must leave this person in the hole. Because you aren't strong enough to carry both of you out, you barely have the strength to make the climb yourself.
So you say goodbye and you start to climb out of the hole, as you climb the sun starts to meet your skin, you start to get warmer and feel the wind in your hair and the freshness that it brings. You make it to the top of the hole and embrace the daylight. You look back and there sits your "friend" still in the hole, but now you understand that you can do whatever you can to help them, BUT YOU CAN'T CARRY THEM OUT OF THE HOLE.
They have to get out of the hole by themselves, you can show them the way, you can encourage them, but DON'T GO IN THE HOLE to get them, you aren't strong enough. Christ is the only one strong enough to carry us out of the hole.
Imagine you are walking along one day and you hear someone calling for help. You follow their voice until you come upon a hole. There they are sitting in this deep, dark hole. You see that it is someone you care about dearly. You ask if they are ok, they say they are fine but they can't get out. So you look at the side of the hole and see there are divets and cranny's that they could use to climb out. You start to point them out to them but they say they can't do that, they aren't strong enough.
So you decide to go and get a rope. You find a rope, tie it to a tree, and throw the other end down to the person in the hole. You encourage them to climb out, but they don't think they can do it and don't even try, they say they aren't strong enough.
Now you are really concerned about them and how they will get out of this dark, dirty hole. So you go and find a ladder. You put the ladder down the hole and tell them to climb out. They just sit. They don't think they can do it. You try and coax them out of the hole by telling them how warm and sunny it is outside of the hole, but they don't budge, they sit in their hole and won't come out.
Because this is someone you love and you want to help them YOU decide to go down in the hole and get them out. So you slowly climb down each step until YOU reach the bottom of the hole, it's dark, cold, dirty and you can't even see the sun anymore from the top of the hole.
You grab their hand and say, "let's get out of here". You give their arm a tug and they don't budge. They say they can't do it. You are going to have to CARRY THEM! You try with all your might, but you are not strong enough to carry both of you up and out of the hole.
So you sit.
You sit in the hole with this person and while they are there with you, you feel all alone, cold and dirty. So you decide (after a long while of sitting and getting dirty) that you are going to get out of the hole and in order to do this you must leave this person in the hole. Because you aren't strong enough to carry both of you out, you barely have the strength to make the climb yourself.
So you say goodbye and you start to climb out of the hole, as you climb the sun starts to meet your skin, you start to get warmer and feel the wind in your hair and the freshness that it brings. You make it to the top of the hole and embrace the daylight. You look back and there sits your "friend" still in the hole, but now you understand that you can do whatever you can to help them, BUT YOU CAN'T CARRY THEM OUT OF THE HOLE.
They have to get out of the hole by themselves, you can show them the way, you can encourage them, but DON'T GO IN THE HOLE to get them, you aren't strong enough. Christ is the only one strong enough to carry us out of the hole.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Low Visibility Ahead . . .
About a year and a half ago my husband had to work out of state for 6 months. This was a very hard time in our lives. He was living in an apartment 7 hours away from us. We missed him greatly. The girls and I went up to Montana to help him find an apartment and stay with him for a week as he got settled in. Leaving him there was HORRIBLE! Luckily we had met up with his parents in Idaho and they had my oldest so driving home it was just the baby (my now 3 year old) and me. As I said goodbye to him knowing that he was going to not be living with us for 6 months I was overcome with emotions and just let the tears and pain fall. While I was crying and feeling so low, lost, and alone thinking about what was I going home for, I was leaving "home" somewhere else. What was I going to do when I got home to that empty house? I was pleading with Heavenly Father to help me find peace and comfort.
Just then there was a street sign that said, "LOW VISIBILITY AHEAD". This hit me (not literally, thank heavens) and I found that comfort I was seeking.
Even though at that moment my life and happiness was foggy and my visibility of the future was low . . . I KNEW that things would be okay.
We can't always see the big picture or the road before us but as long as we keep on the right road and exercise our Faith we will make it through the "low visibility" areas in our lives.
Just then there was a street sign that said, "LOW VISIBILITY AHEAD". This hit me (not literally, thank heavens) and I found that comfort I was seeking.
Even though at that moment my life and happiness was foggy and my visibility of the future was low . . . I KNEW that things would be okay.
We can't always see the big picture or the road before us but as long as we keep on the right road and exercise our Faith we will make it through the "low visibility" areas in our lives.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Temple Riders . . .
This is a double post from my photography blog but I must share these here too :) Our YW/YM had the extraordinary opportunity to have the Temple Riders come and visit us for our activity last night. They came roaring in on their motor cycles (and I mean roaring!) and we got to play around the bikes for a while before we went inside and they talked to us about how wearing the protection they wear while riding their bikes is like putting on the Armor of God. I can tell that this association has brought a whole new crowd of on-lookers that the church may not have seen before. What fun people they were and . . . . LOOK AT THOSE BIKES!
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