Easter and the Atonement . . .

I love Easter, I love Conference. I have to say that conference is one of my FAVORITE things in this world. I love to hear the words of the Prophet and those called to serve the Lord. I love to have my testimony feed by their testimonies. I had questions and I received direct answers. My husband and I had prayed the night before for a specific answer and I can truly say that while listening to conference it seemed as if President Monson turned directly to me and said, "you will find peace in the Temple". My husband and I were both sitting on the couch and looked at each other. We both felt that this was our answer and we will be going to the house of the Lord soon to seek that peace we have been yearning for. I am so~ grateful to have a Lord who KNOWS us and who loves us. I am so~ grateful for temples and the sacred ordinances we are blessed to partake of when we attend. I am so~ grateful to be a member of the church during the last days where the gospel presence is strong on the Earth and I am not left to wonder too long, as the answers are there. I am grateful and I am blessed.

A Family Fast . . .

My youngest princess is going to be ONE next month and I have been reflecting on her birth and the miracles that came our way. Our little "bean" was 4 weeks early (3 weeks 5 days to be exact) and while that is not extremely early, something wasn't right. She had sudden Shoulder Dystocia (which I didn't know just how bad it was until I read that link, and am now VERY thankful for a talented Midwife who seemed as calm as could be).   When she was born she wasn't responsive and they had to do some breathing things to get her breathing.  She was just limp, it was the scariest thing I have ever experienced.  

Our little princess was rushed off to be checked and see if she needed to go to the NICU, which they decided she did.  My husband (oh how hard this was on him) and my dad gave her a blessing and off she went.  I had the baby on Monday and I could barely keep my eyes open thru Wednesday, not my regular way, I am usually up and walking around later that day.  The baby on the other hand hadn't even opened her eyes.  They kept asking me about a virus I had a few months before the baby (just a little cold).  Because they couldn't figure out why she was sooooo sleepy.  They said they gave her an iv in her head and she didn't even flinch.

Wednesday came and it was time for me to go home, but not my baby :(  What a hard time that is!  I was pumping and giving them milk, but she was still tube feeding because she was not awake at all to eat.  There wasn't any rooms available at the hospital so I had to leave her there and go home.  What a sad feeling.  Helpless really.  You can't hold her, you can't show her off to friends and family, so different than my other babies, you can't help her, you just pray!

With this, my husband called his Grandpa and asked if the family could have a fast on behalf of our new baby.  His Grandpa has been such a great example to us and there was no question that the family would pull together to support us.

Thursday Morning I got ready and head out for a day at the hospital (they called and said that they had a room also, so I could stay).  I walked into the NICU room #1 (reserved for the sickest babies) and there was my BABY and I mean a BABY, she was out of the box, dressed in clothes, wrapped in a blanket in a regular bed like all my other babies were!  It was amazing!  

I held her, feed her, cuddled her, she was a real baby (sure I knew she was a real baby before but it was so different when you couldn't even touch her, just look at her in the little box).  And from there she improved with flying colors.  It still took almost one more week for us to get her home, but there is no reason to rush . . . make sure everything is okay first.  She went home without any oxygen, or beeping machines, she came home and has been PERFECT and active ever since.

Now I have always had a hard time with fasting (I have blood sugar issues and have to snack all day) and I just feel so hungry when they say you can't eat (doesn't make a lot of sense, he he). But this was a confirmation to me that fasting and prayer DOES work and MIRACLES can come from those acts of faith.  

I am so grateful to a family who knows where to turn when times are tough (and when times are FABULOUS!  C.S. Lewis says, "and his feasts would be as Christian as his fasts.")  I am grateful to the healing power of the priesthood and the gift it is in my life to have worthy men who honor it.  And I am grateful for the responsibility to raise children of God and the assistance he gives me so I may raise them up to yearn to return to Him.

The small spiritual experiences . . .

It is through our every day life that we can find ways to build our testimonies. It doesn't have to be a big set up. I LOVE to seek these small experiences out. I love the day to day life that the Lord has given me and the small moments that impact my life.

Yesterday I was sick, not just feeling low, but sick, couldn't get out of bed. My oldest daughter came home from a Halloween party and immediately sprung to action and took care of me. She brought me an ice cold glass of water after I threw up saying, "I always like when you bring me a glass of water to get that taste out of my mouth."

She kept giving me "distant" hugs (no one wants this sick). And when it came time to tuck her in, we had to have our prayer at my bedside instead of hers. It was her turn to say the prayer and while she was praying she said, "we ask a special prayer tonight to bless that mom will get feeling better so she can have a fun Halloween."

How sweet of her to think of me and how much fun I want to have. So after sleeping most of the night I woke up this morning feeling a bit better (I could at least get out of bed). I went downstairs to wake her up for school (of course we have to get up extra early today to get her costume and Halloween make-up on). And the first thing she asks is, "How are you feeling?" I reply that I am feeling a lot better and she says, "See my prayer worked!"

There is a reason the Lord requires us to be like little children the faith and understanding that they have is so pure and real. This was a reminder to me that children can also have testimony building moments at a young age when they exercise their faith.

I am so grateful for the gift of His children in my home and will seek continually to provide for them.

Decisions, Decisions.

I am a mother of three beautiful little girls. And ever since the birth of my second daughter I have been staying home taking care of them, but I have ALWAYS wanted to find a way to contribute to the family finances. I tried everything you can think of . . . scrapbooking, make-up sales, party planning, and the list goes on and on . . . When my 2nd little princess was 1 week old we had a friend come over and take some pictures of the family and our newbie. She did a great job and these are pictures we will forever treasure and I still have the family one hanging on my wall ( I know I need a new one especially since I am a photographer and there is ANOTHER CHILD involved, I just don't like getting my picture taken.) But I remember getting these pictures and seeing how happy they made me and seeing how well the girl was doing and I thought HEY maybe I could do that. I had always liked to draw and have taken art classes all my life. I never got raves reviews from my teachers because all I ever drew were portraits of people (seems kinda funny now). So a dear friend of mine (a wife of a guy my hubby works with) helped me talk my husband into spending our tax return on a camera (not the nicest one out there mind you, we don't have THAT many deductibles.)

But before I bought the camera I remember praying and praying about it and whether it was the right thing to do. All my other hair-brained ideas didn't have that much money to shell out at the beginning, so this was a sacrifice for us. Was it the right thing? Now I remember taking my scriptures with me down to the bus stop as I took my oldest to school one day and reading while we waited in the snow.

I have always heard about people who just open the scriptures and read a verse and get an answer to the question . . . so I decided to test this theory. I plopped them open and read the first verse that came to my eye. I don't remember the verse or where it was located (I wish I would have marked it) but it said, "Seek God, before you seek riches." This was an answer to my prayer. I had been using God as the backburner for my quest for riches, when in fact I needed to seek God first and the riches would follow (if they were to be).

So after more prayers and quiet whisperings from the Holy Ghost (and direction from my patriarchal blessing) my husband bought me the camera and the rest is history. It didn't boom quick but three years later I am able to provide some supplimentary income for my family's needs. My photography has been a gift and continues to be a gift from my Heavenly Father so I am always trying to find ways to give back, ways to use my gift to further his work here on earth.

Another prayer answered (a little comedic).

I was thinking I wanted to move (I know crazy right, we live in such a beautiful place) but my kids don't have a lot of people to play with and summer is hard! So I was visiting my sister in law and watched my kids play with like a trillion other kids and I was thinking that they were missing out. So I went home and told my hubby that I wanted to move down to her neighborhood. Now I always say my hubby has good guts, meaning when he has a gut feeling it's the way we should go, I do believe this has something to do with the priesthood he holds :) But we'll call it guts :) And he responded to me, "really because I don't feel that way, why don't you pray about it". Oh darn it, I wanted him to say "OK, my lovely wife whatever you say!"

So I prayed and decided to do the scripture magic again, I plopped open my scriptures (and this one I did mark) and it fell to Alma 46:24, which starts out, "Yea, let us preserve our liberty . . ." Now this may not seem like an answer to some, but think about this. I live in Liberty Utah! Now people can laugh (because that's just what I did when I read it) but the Lord can guide and direct us in our decisions if we will only listen.

Every Part of your life!

Not too long ago I was trying to sell my car.  Not because I didn't like it . . . because I LOVED it.  But because my family has grown and for my own sanity the children need to be out of arms reach of one another.  So with much sadness I put my car on the "ever so popular" online selling site.  Now I had a cute, fun, fast car and this online source was my only method for selling it.  No number in the car window or sale sign.  So we waited . . .

It sat online for 30 days then 45 days and I was determined that the car wasn't going to sell and that it just wasn't meant to be.  I had this very thought as I was driving my three year old to the doctor when . . . she threw up all over the back seat.   The most HORRIBLE throw up ever!  So I pulled over and got her cleaned up (as much as you can in the back seat of a car), ran into Old Navy in her skibbies to get some new clothes to wear and as I get back in the car . . . I get a phone call saying they want to look at my car!  Of course, now that it's covered in throw up and I have an infant and sick toddler on my hands.

So we rush home and detail the car, top to bottom!  Thank heavens for hubbies.  And I am thinking how weird it is that just today I was thinking if it's meant to be it will happen if not, don't stress about it.  So my hubby takes the car to show the people and he comes home and says they want it!  And they are going to pick it up tomorrow.  

Well I haven't even been looking for a new car.  All I knew was that I wanted a mini-van (crazy I know, but it's pure heaven)  I was kind of picky about this as I felt that if I was going to be a mini-van driving mom it had to have all the bells and whistles I needed.  But it also had to be about the same price as my old car . . . challenging.  And not to throw in any more challenges, but we were supposed to head up to Bear Lake in two days, need a car for that!

So I ran to the same online source and started searching for my dream car (van).  It needed to be white, I wanted power sliding doors (how cool are those), I wanted a dvd player to keep the kids happy on those rides home from grandma and grandpa's and it had to have under 80k miles.  Now I worked at car dealerships for 7 years and one thing I did learn was that you can't custom order a used car.

So my hopes were high, but my expectations low.  I am looking and looking and praying and praying (yes I was praying about a car).  Then I found it, but it had been online for 50 days and was $3000 under book . . . it was either sold or something seriously wrong with it!  The listing wasn't the best, very vague, but even in the small print I could read dvd player and power sliding doors.  So I called and left a message.

I then rented a van so I had something to drive and with 24 hours until we were to head to Bear Lake I kept looking and praying that the right thing would turn up for us.  I finally got a phone call back from the man selling the van and they still had it and they lived within 15 minutes of us (which if you know where I live, this is a big deal).  So we ran to see it and it was PERFECT!  Everything I wanted and only $200 more than our old car!  The man said that he had it online for the 50 days and we are the first to call on it!  Sold, we'll take two!

Now I am not saying that this car is heaven sent, but what I am saying is that if you let the Lord be a part of EVERY aspect of your life . . . job, cars, school, even down to the smallest thing, He will be involved.  He will guide you and direct you.  He will ease your worries with the FAITH that he will find a way for things to work out.  

Just as I said in the post before this . . . we are given trials.   No doubt about it, but if we let the Lord be involved in everything he will guide us through it all . . . Big or Small!  Don't ever feel like something isn't important enough to pray for.  If it's important to you, it's important to Him.