Ask Why? Get an answer.

I was driving the other day when I drove thru the inner part of a big city and saw a man on the sidewalk struggling with a shopping cart full of belongings. I watched as he stumbled onto the grass and tried to catch a blanket that was falling out of his cart. This scene isn't uncommon in this part of town and I started wondering why some of us were so blessed with the comforts of this world and why some had to struggle just to survive. It wasn't very much further down the road, when I got my answer. Just as the spirit does, a soft voice spoke to me, "For of him unto whom much is given much is required" D&C 82:3 (the actual thoughts were, "to whom much is given much is expected.") And the hymn "Because I have been given much" started to sing in my head.

Throughout the weekend, this same message rang in my head numerous times as I looked at my family, my home and my life. I feel so blessed and because of that I will do all that I can to serve the Lord. It's not just lucky, it's a blessing and because of that I must always strive to turn the hearts of my children and myself to the Lord.

On a little side note: We were watching a television show (my four year old and I) and someone mentioned "heaven". My little lady turned to me and said, "HEY! We know Heaven." Aren't we glad :)

The White Rose~

I have had the opportunity over the past few days to do some work for a WonDeRfuL family who I first considered clients but now consider friends. Their dear daughter gave birth to a little man who lived for only a few weeks and then returned home to our Heavenly Father.

This wonderful family shared a story with me, that I'd like to share with you (and keep for my family to read later on). It's called The White Rose.

The White Rose~

All the earth's mothers and fathers were gathered together at God's garden of flowers: those beautiful budding spirits, who would someday come to earth, were nurtured and tended in the garden. A loving Father spoke to the mothers and fathers: "See the works of my hands; someday you will be the parents of those radiant spirits." The garden glowed with the mixture of all kinds and colors. "Choose Ye," He said. Now in the east corner of the garden, pure, white roses stood as sentinels. They were not so colorful as the rest, but glowed with a kind of purity which set them apart.

One by one mothers and fathers stepped forward. "I want the blue-eyed, curly-haired one, who will grow to maturity and be a mother in Zion. Yet another chose a brown-eyed, brown-haired boy full of life and love who would someday be a prince in a grand country. The garden buzzed with excitement as the others chose their own special spirits, those whom they would soon welcome into the warmth and love of an earthly home.

Once again the loving father spoke, "But who will take the white roses, the ones in the east corner of the garden. These will return to me in purity and goodness. They will not stay long in your home, for I must bring them back to my Garden for they belong with me; but they will gain bodies as we planned. You will miss them and long for them, but I will personally care for them."

"No, not I," many said in unison. "I could not bear to give one back so soon." "Nor I," said others. "We will take those who will remain and grow to maturity and live long lives."

The loving Father looked out across the multitude of mothers and fathers with the longing in His eyes for someone to step forward. He then said, "See the most pure and perfect of all the white ones? I choose Him; He will go down and be a sacrifice for all mankind. He will be scorned, mocked, and crucified. He is mine own. Will not anyone choose like unto Him?"

A few mothers stepped forward. "Yes, Lord, I will." Then a few fathers said, "I as well."

Soon all the pure, white roses were taken; and they rejoiced in the choices of the mothers and the fathers. The Father spoke again: "Oh, blessed are you who chose the white roses, for your pain will be a heavy cross to bear; but your joy will be exceeding beyond anything you can understand at this time."

The white ones embraced their mothers and fathers; so full was their purity and love that it filled their souls with such endearment. Each mother and father knew they could endure the task. And the greatest of all the white ones gathered them as a hen gathers her chicks, and the outpouring love surrounded each mother, father, and child, consuming all the white ones as He prepared them for their task. And each mother and father who bore the weight of the white rose would feel the overwhelming love of God as they all shouted, "Thy will be done."

** There is a great talk or discussion by Bruce R. McConkie in which he addressed the gospel and how it pertains to infants/children who return home SALVATION OF LITTLE CHILDREN in this discussion he quotes Joseph Smith, “The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth.” (Joseph Smith Teachings, pp. 196–97.)"

My love and prayers go out to this wonderful family and any other that has endured such trials. I honor you and know that thru Christ families can be together forever.

A Family Fast . . .

My youngest princess is going to be ONE next month and I have been reflecting on her birth and the miracles that came our way. Our little "bean" was 4 weeks early (3 weeks 5 days to be exact) and while that is not extremely early, something wasn't right. She had sudden Shoulder Dystocia (which I didn't know just how bad it was until I read that link, and am now VERY thankful for a talented Midwife who seemed as calm as could be).   When she was born she wasn't responsive and they had to do some breathing things to get her breathing.  She was just limp, it was the scariest thing I have ever experienced.  

Our little princess was rushed off to be checked and see if she needed to go to the NICU, which they decided she did.  My husband (oh how hard this was on him) and my dad gave her a blessing and off she went.  I had the baby on Monday and I could barely keep my eyes open thru Wednesday, not my regular way, I am usually up and walking around later that day.  The baby on the other hand hadn't even opened her eyes.  They kept asking me about a virus I had a few months before the baby (just a little cold).  Because they couldn't figure out why she was sooooo sleepy.  They said they gave her an iv in her head and she didn't even flinch.

Wednesday came and it was time for me to go home, but not my baby :(  What a hard time that is!  I was pumping and giving them milk, but she was still tube feeding because she was not awake at all to eat.  There wasn't any rooms available at the hospital so I had to leave her there and go home.  What a sad feeling.  Helpless really.  You can't hold her, you can't show her off to friends and family, so different than my other babies, you can't help her, you just pray!

With this, my husband called his Grandpa and asked if the family could have a fast on behalf of our new baby.  His Grandpa has been such a great example to us and there was no question that the family would pull together to support us.

Thursday Morning I got ready and head out for a day at the hospital (they called and said that they had a room also, so I could stay).  I walked into the NICU room #1 (reserved for the sickest babies) and there was my BABY and I mean a BABY, she was out of the box, dressed in clothes, wrapped in a blanket in a regular bed like all my other babies were!  It was amazing!  

I held her, feed her, cuddled her, she was a real baby (sure I knew she was a real baby before but it was so different when you couldn't even touch her, just look at her in the little box).  And from there she improved with flying colors.  It still took almost one more week for us to get her home, but there is no reason to rush . . . make sure everything is okay first.  She went home without any oxygen, or beeping machines, she came home and has been PERFECT and active ever since.

Now I have always had a hard time with fasting (I have blood sugar issues and have to snack all day) and I just feel so hungry when they say you can't eat (doesn't make a lot of sense, he he). But this was a confirmation to me that fasting and prayer DOES work and MIRACLES can come from those acts of faith.  

I am so grateful to a family who knows where to turn when times are tough (and when times are FABULOUS!  C.S. Lewis says, "and his feasts would be as Christian as his fasts.")  I am grateful to the healing power of the priesthood and the gift it is in my life to have worthy men who honor it.  And I am grateful for the responsibility to raise children of God and the assistance he gives me so I may raise them up to yearn to return to Him.

Endure to the End . . .

We have experienced something over the past few days that gives me a whole new perspective to the Lord's counsel to "endure to the end". A loved and cherished son of God decided to take his life on Tuesday. He seemed to be such a happy and well person and the shock from the tragedy has left everyone confused and saddened. While out shoveling snow, I could not take my mind off of it and kept thinking about what on earth could have made him do this? I don't understand. Then I got the message "lean not unto thine own understanding." This didn't give me full peace, but a dose of, "hey we aren't always going to understand everything". As I started to think more (as this seems to be taking over a lot of my thoughts) I started thinking that the command or the commandment from the Lord to simply "endure to the end" is truly all we can do sometimes. When things seem like they will never get better, like there is no way out . . . Just Survive. Just live. Just ENDURE.

In Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin's conference talk "Come What May and Love it", he counseled on the "Principle of Compensation: The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

My prayers and heart go out to the family at this time. I pray that they may find peace and some sort of understanding, whether it be ours or the Lords. I pray that we may remember to endure, hold on, the light will come.

Elder Bruce R. McConkie (1915–85) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “Suicide consists in the voluntary and intentional taking of one’s own life, particularly where the person involved is accountable and has a sound mind. … Persons subject to great stresses may lose control of themselves and become mentally clouded to the point that they are no longer accountable for their acts. It should … be remembered that judgment is the Lord’s; he knows the thoughts, intents, and abilities of men; and he in his infinite wisdom will make all things right in due course.”

Therefore, the loving man we all remembered will be the memories we hold onto.

"Suicide: Some Things We Know, and Some We Do Not" great talk given my M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Where you are supposed to be . . .

Last week was a crazy one. I had a million things to get done and only a short amount of time to get it done in. I was preparing for an out of town trip to photograph a wedding in another state. The bride was my husband's cousin so we were invited to the temple sealing. Since the birth of my third daughter I haven't made it to the temple (naughty!) so I needed to meet with the bishop and stake president to renew my recommend. So on the Sunday before I meet with the Bishop, check! Now to meet with the Stake President. He is at the Stake Center every Tuesday evening from 7-9 pm to renew recommends. And of course, I have procrastinated to the last Tuesday before the wedding. I had it all planned out when . . . WHAT . . . things didn't go as planned!

I had a photo shoot that went longer than expected and found myself speeding up the freeway trying to make it in time. As I exited the freeway I realized there was no way I was going to make it up to the Stake Center in time. So . . . someone crept into my mind and started saying, well I guess I just won't go in and I'll meet them when they get out, it's my own fault and I can't ask the Stake Presidency to meet me a different time due to my procrastination.

I was then prompted by someone :) to call my mother and ask her advice (being that my dad is a bishop, I thought they may know a thing or two about this subject). She said you call and you get there! She was very sure in her answer. So I said, how! She said to contact the Stake Executive Secretary . . . ummmm ok, don't know him :)

So I called my husband to see if he could find my stake directory in the pile of papers on my desk. He said he would search (what a man!) I then called my Young Women President thinking she may have the number closer. She had the number for the Stake Center Office, and just as I hung up with her, my dear man called me with the Brother's name and guess what I knew him! Yay! He was in our Ward and his daughters are in young women's with me.

So I called the office and spoke with the Brother and he decided that we could maybe have a member of the Presidency sneak out from their meeting (that they hold after the recommend interviews) and interview with me. I promised him I was good so I wouldn't take very long, he he he.

So I got there and yes, 30 minutes late. But I came to this realization . . . we can ALWAYS find an excuse not to go, a reason we aren't able to make it, BUT the important thing is we need to find the REASONS TO BE THERE! The motivation to be where we are supposed to be. He did say, "It wouldn't be easy, but it WOULD be worth it!"

A Challenge . . .

I was down at Temple Square yesterday photographing a wedding. The ceremony pictures were over and I had about an hour and a half until the reception (at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building) so I decided to wander through temple square and see what I could see. As I was wandering I had the opportunity to speak with a lovely sister missionary. At the end of our conversation she asked me if she could give me a challenge! I am up for a challenge from a missionary any day! She asked that I think hard about something I need an answer to, something I maybe haven't let go of, or that I am seeking. She asked that I write it down and listen to conference with that "question" in mind. She PROMISED me that if I did this, my question would be answered! What Faith she had. She said it without doubt or hesitation. So therefore, I am going to do the challenge and I am passing the challenge on to you.
1. Think deep about something you need an answer to or something you have been seeking forgiveness for that you haven't let go of.
2. Write this thing down (in a journal, on a piece of paper you can crumple up so no one can see, anywhere!).
3. Listen to General Conference on Oct. 4th and 5th. For Broadcast Information Click Here.
4. Have Faith and Know that you will find what you are seeking.